on sex work and death

personal studies & emergent dimensions

As sex workers it is not often that we get a chance to know the fate of our clients lives. When regulars suddenly no-show or stop responding and reaching out to us, we might feel anywhere on the spectrum of annoyed to concerned to entirely devastated. Especially if said client is one of the only sources of reliable and consistent income we have supporting us. Over the years i’ve come to assume the worst of a regular suddenly dropping off without explanation or consideration 1.) their wife/family found out or 2.) tragedy has befallen them (finances, health, death).

Despite the depth of intimacy and vulnerability I may share with these men… yes I mean despite being their dream girlfriend, best friend, mistress, side-piece fantasy or whatever archetypal projection they may place onto me, I never expect to be considered when it’s time for them to exit the relationship. This is the reality of a no-strings-attached transactional experience — explanations are often not assumed to be necessary. Containers of intimacy such as this have been both a blessing and challenge to my life outside of sex work.